There has been an increase in conversations about mental health of late. I, for one, think it’s about time. I’m sure I don’t have to say before I go any further that I’m not a mental health expert. I simply want to share some observations, some thoughts about this issue. I’m reminded of the old joke about denial isn’t a river in Egypt. For years now, I’ve wondered why a person might be inclined to deny the reality that they are suffering from a mental illness. Yes, I know that there are certain social and cultural stigmas that exist in society that conditions some people to be tight lipped about mental illness. However, when our condition is beginning to effect ourselves and others in negative ways, don’t you think we should fess up?
I facilitate a chronic illness support group in my church. One of the things I emphasize to the group is that we should be honest about our condition. When someone asks you how you’re doing, assume that their query is an honest attempt to gauge your condition. If you’re not feeling at your best, tell them so, without being overwhelming. You shouldn’t make them feel as though they shouldn’t have asked. However, your response should give them an honest assessment, resulting in empathy. Oftentimes, our responses to these types of inquiries are not truthful, because society, and God forbid, the church tells us to not be truthful. If you’re a Bible-believing, filled with the holy spirit follower of Jesus Christ, you don’t want to run the risk of having someone think you aren’t practicing what you’re preaching. I often wonder how many people in the church are suffering in silence, holding it all in because they want to present this spiritual persona of strength and composer.
If you’ve read any of my musings, you know that I’m a long-term sufferer from multiple myeloma, a type of blood caner. One of the things I struggled with early on in my journey was wondering how long I would live before this disease ushered me from this life into meeting my maker. Year after year of survival and thriving, taught me that I was being blessed beyond anything I could’ve hoped for. Finally, it donned on me that my experience and my faith were powerful elements that formed my testimony; a testimony that God wanted me to use in offering encouragement to others. I now think about how lying about my suffering might have prevented me from sharing the truth about my cancer walk.
Talking, counseling, sharing ourselves with others are powerful tools that I believe God wants us to use in our relationships. When you look at the scriptures, you see God has always been there providing counsel; asking questions that He already knew the answers to. When the great I AM asks those questions, He’s offering an opportunity to be truthful. Truthfulness to self and others can prove useful in keeping a person from sinking into a depressive state. A false persona is not the spiritual and truthful presentation we should be showing others because we think that’s what they want to see.
I’m old and blessed…hope you will be too.
oldblessedwordpresscom 
Sometimes people can be timid about revealing their own personal challenges, illnesses, or problems, because it may make them feel vulnerable. They don’t want their identity rooted in what is trying to change or overcome. But if they have the courage to share their testimony, God bless them! Great advice! 🙂
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Great post and great message my friend! Being open and vulnerable is hard for many, but it really opens the door to more grace from God and others to come pouring into our lives. Thank you!
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I grew up believing that all “mental illnesses” were simply sin problems that someone had never confessed. “Just get right with God and you’ll be fine,” was the mantra I heard. It was preached from pulpits all across America, and taught in the Bible college I attended. There is still a school of thought being taught that all so-called mental illness is simply a “worship disorder.”
Then my husband of 30 years, at the time, was hit with a deep, horrifying depression. We had no idea that’s what it was. He didn’t tell me until several years later that he had spend night after night in the living room on his knees, begging God to show him where his sin was.
Finally, our primary doctor evaluated him specifically for depression. My husband is a strong person, and was good at hiding what was going on, but it was affecting his ability to work. He couldn’t even think straight. He was ashamed, humiliated, sure that some deep sin was holding him in its grip.
Long story shorter: My husband finally agreed to take an anti-depressant, and to see a Christian counselor. I went with him, because he couldn’t remember what had been said for more than five minutes after we left the office. So we talked a lot, and I was taken back to my college psychology class that had fascinated me so much. My husband did get better. Our understanding of clinical depression changed radically. I made my own appointment with our counselor and asked what I had to do to get into being a therapist. He gave me good direction, and told me to call him when I finished, and he would have a place for me in his office!
I worked in his practice for 18 years before retiring at age 72. It is a private Christian practice, so I had the freedom to use my Bible in the counseling process. My husband has learned to recognize signs that he’s headed for trouble, and knows he needs to rest and relax when he feels it creeping up on him.
I need to say here that sin is ALWAYS something that has to be considered. We are sinners by nature, so of course sin is always something that needs to be addressed. But to say, “It’s JUST a sin problem,” is horribly destructive, adding to the guilt and shame a person may already be feeling.
I appreciate your post so much. You are correct. We need to quit treating this topic as if it were pornography! And I’m sorry for such a lengthy comment. As you can well imagine, your post pushed a button for me 🙂
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Thanks for this. It is in no way too long. In fact, with minor editing, I think it would make a great post. My experience with facilitating our churches chronic illness support ministry connects me with people who still believe that there is a direct sin connection with all illnesses. I often turn to John 9: 1-5, where Jesus tells His disciples that the man wasn’t blind because of his or his parents’ sin. That one is kind of funny since the man was born blind.
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I have written on this topic extensively on my own blog:lwww.lindasbiblestudy.wordpress.com
I’m glad you didn’t find it too long. Hard for me to stop once I get started 🙂
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Sorry, typo: www.lindasbiblestudy.wordpress.com
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Good grief. I can’t seem to get it right. One more time:
http://www.lindasbiblestudy.wordpress.com
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Got it. Thanks.
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Old and blessed as well!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom here, much appreciated. 😀
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Thanks for reading my musings. I tried subscribing to your site, the new one; however, I got a long period of the circle. I’ll try again later.
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I’m sorry you are having so much trouble subscribing to my blog. Here is a link to the Welcome page where you you can find in blue “Become a subscriber” in blue on the left: https://marianbeaman.com/
I hope that works for you. If you still have trouble, let me know and I’ll get my web guy on it. Thanks so much!
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I reposted this yesterday on my blog because I love it so much. You really hit the nail on the head for us Christians!
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Hello, my New Mexico friend. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I must admit, I didn’t think this one would do well. This is a product of my fingers meandering around the keyboard. I sat at the keyboard and just started keying without any notion of an outline in mind. Thanks for the repost. Mental health is a topic that’s being discussed around the globe these days. The importance of it hit my church hard a couple of years ago when one of our young ministers committed suicide. He was well educated, had a beautiful family, was an excellent preacher, and principal at one of our city’s schools. Everyone thought he had everything. No one suspected he was in trouble.
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Thank you for sharing your story, insights, and experiences. I pray God uses your post to touch others with hope and strength.
After reading your comment about your church going through the loss of a pastor by suicide, first, you and your church have my condolences for such a tragic loss. Second, I’m grateful that the enemy of souls doesn’t have the final say and that God Almighty can take whatever the evil one meant for destruction and use it for our good and His glory. You are a testimony of that fact.
I am too. I’ve survived the death of both a son and husband from suicide. The scars from each of those events have become a beautiful memorial to what God has done and continues to do in my life. God bless you.
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Great post, O&B. Your advice about responding to queries of “how are you?” is spot on. However, I think we, or many of us, are programed to respond cheerfully and affirmatively to this question. It is sort of a greeting or conversation opener, like “Isn’t the weather lovely?” I know I’m guilty of this. Not that I often feel poorly, but I’ve caught myself a few times when I had a headache or some minor ailment, responding to the “How are you” greeting with a chirpy “Oh, great! Thank you.” It’s out of my mouth before I’ve even reflected on how I’m actually feeling. I wonder how I would respond if I were feeling depressed or worse? I honestly don’t know if I’d speak honestly. I think when we ask others how they are, we need to do something (I’m not sure exactly what) to stay with them, to perhaps pick a little more deeply at the response, and to be fully ready if the response is negative or dark. (I also am not confident about how to proceed with that response.) Very important topic and food for thought.
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