I wouldn’t be without you

From the time two sources came together in a moment of passion, you have been there. You have energized me, given me opportunities to learn, watched me, while never depriving me of my freewill. You were there waiting to usher me into my first exposure to light. You provided a platform for me to test my endowments; to begin the process of developing my humanity. In the initial stages of my development, I had no knowledge of you, what you were about, what your purpose was. I simply reveled in uninhibited joy, most of the time anyway.

As I’ve meandered about, sometimes with short periods of understanding, most of the time with unadulterated ignorance you’ve been there offering more challenges, more opportunities for me to learn and connect with all that I see. There have been forces coming at me from all sides, convinced that they have the answers I require to better prepare me to navigate through the times I’ve been granted. Each force is convinced that it has the best answers, the best tools, and at time, each is willing to vehemently attempt to win me over to its side. At times, I’ve resisted because I’ve wanted to seek my own answers, my own path. Little have I known that paths already taken by other have been better for me than any travel plans I could conjure. Fortunately, I’ve learned much during those times when I turned left when conventional wisdom said turn right. I wish I could say all bad decisions left me unscathed. Sometimes the wounds from bad decisions seem to linger for ever.

There have been times when I have come near being deprived of your presence. I can recall one time when you, in your dogged determination, decided the forces that tried to take you away had to retreat. I don’t think that bothered them terribly, since that was simply a battle lost, not a war. I’ve come to enjoy you in my own unique way, but that was the intent. You’ve been my personal companion, gifted to me to use in the best way I can. I honestly wish I had used you to the fullest of positivity; however, I wasn’t always that good at ignoring the distractions that offered greater sensory experiences at the time.

I’ve had more time with you than I deserved, and now that you’re short on supply, I have a better understanding of who and what you are. I understand your purpose. But isn’t that the refrain of many of us who have been gifted with your presence: Just when we think we’ve got you figured out, the screen goes black. Ironically, it’s a blessing to be given the time to get to that point.

Life, my greatest gift, my greatest friend, my greatest companion, thanks for what has been and what has yet to come.

I’m old and blessed…hope you will be too.

4 thoughts on “I wouldn’t be without you

  1. rangewriter October 4, 2022 / 12:06 am

    Wait a minute. This sounds like an ominous post. Has your health taken a turn?


    • catterel October 4, 2022 / 8:44 am

      My thoughts exactly – I do hope you are OK, and this is just a “stock-taking” moment of appreciation and gratitude.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. JLem October 4, 2022 / 9:45 pm

    Wow! Clarity of the present essence of You.


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